I was so disappointed when I missed Nine in the movie theater. I have a huge soft spot for musicals and thought that the all star cast would make for an outstanding film. Boy was I wrong!! There is on word that can summarize this movie: BORING. With a cast that includes such actresses as Kate Hudson, Nicole Kidman, Judy Dench, and Penelope Cruz, one would think that the film would explode with action and fantastic acting. If this wasn't enough, the cast is led by the phenomenal Daniel Day Lewis and includes a musical appearance by Fergie. Yet, when all of these things are added together it proves to be a huge letdown and results in two hours of cinematic sludge.
The plot, if you can call it that, centers on the director Guido Contini and his various loves which range from his wife to his mistress, leading lady, and even the whore who gave him his first striptease. The characters aren't woven into the narrative. Instead, they are introduced, sing a song, and then are virtually removed from the film. Contini's wife has a bit more involvement as does his mistress, but the rest of the ladies are basically paraded through as a way to show Contini's philandering. A bit of a back story is tied together through flashbacks of Contini's childhood, but it does not add much to the plot or the understanding of his character. Even the songs seem lacking because they do not add anything to the plot. Instead, it feels like a concert in which each woman comes on stage to sing a song about her relationship with Contini and then is dismissed. With such powerhouse voices as Fergie, Penelope Cruz, and Nicole Kidman, I was expecting something more akin to Chicago or Moulin Rouge. But even their voices could not hold the film together. Eventually, I found myself wanting to fast forward the film to the songs only to be disappointed by their lack of emotion and impact on the audience.
Overall, I was clearly disappointed. The music was sub-par and the story wasn't compelling at all. The dancing was definitely exciting but overly sexual to the point that after three musical numbers, I felt like I was watching pornography. Sadly, Nine didn't even reach the least of my expectations.
-DLP
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